ღ۞.Altius, Citius, Fortius.ღ۞

“The Real Score”

Who truly surmount the world, you or me? Nobody can tell it just you must learn to adapt the sensible changes happening surrounds you.

Time passes so fast that I did not notice that I am already behind to others. I thought everything is fine; I have nothing to worry about. Everything is like a piece of cake for me: anything can be controlled. Word hard doesn’t exist to me. I let time passed for there are many next time. I made “no” into “yes” because I follow no other laws for I am the law. I take no other master for I am the master. I take everything for granted for I deserve only what is the best. I see myself as the lord of the world for I am powerful. I overlooked people under me in such a way that I recognized no one. I foresee that I am in the top. I have born just to heir and take control the world.

So, I decided to make a manuscript of my life. I settled up a fairytale life. I chose the most picturesque location where to shoot the movie of my life. I assigned myself as writer, director, and proofs man at the same the best actor of my own written story. I play it beautifully and gracefully until I realized how boring this life would be. It goes with the flow of living happily ever after story, no challenges, no sufferings and everything are dull. It is very animated, too much fascination (It is my realization when I got older).

So, I dumped the first manuscript and started a new one. I sketch and figure out a deeper story. I learned that I should make it more realistic; I must involve other actors and actresses played for different characters. When they came and performed I learned to fake smiles for I have to appreciate them---physically. I feigned affection to be part of the circle. I became cynical about love for the love portrays mockery. I stated to wear other shoe in order for me to be accepted. I totally lost my identity. Everything I see is pessimistic. I apprehend only the best pretender survives. I found out how harsh my life would be. So, I decided to dump it too.

So, nothings left for me but the two old dumped manuscripts. I start scrutinizing and analyzing what’s wrong with my past writings. I compare, contrast and evaluate for I fabricated a slouch life. I have found that it is all lie. The first one, I just planned for happy long hours of sunny days but presaged the storm, expecting rainbows though unprepared for rain and left no place for grief and could not foresee pain. It is living in fairytale worlds in which only exist in the mind of the imaginative writer. While the second one is living in the cruel world in which life is full of lies and mockery. It makes me vain and better.

I realized now life is unfair, it is unpredictable. Nobody have the power to dictates or appoint which things to be done. I prepared a master plan of my life for the future without thinking the possible circumstances, obstacles, and hindrances might come along my way. The set blueprint I had made is about gaining without losing, successions but full of pretensions. I am lost; I am confused which way to be taken. The only thing clear to me is life is never been fair but it planted equality. Everyone is neither equal in the eyes of God, no rich nor poor, no weak nor strong. Everybody has carried a cross of it’s own. A realization comes to me; one should learn to prepare always for the rainy season to come….

---Venus Millena