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Dear Mama,
Ma, I am just a damn daughter to you, I just destroyed your dreams, ruin your life and gives you a miserable life instead of fairytale living. I am the black sheep of the family and a burden to you. I always do things I want. Yeah, I knew it that it hurts you, I always wanted to hurt you in that way I can take my revenge to you. Do you know why? It is because you don’t have time for me. You don’t see my importance as your daughter instead you just keeping me to be one of your followers that follow everything you say with open arms and with a head bow down.
I always take you for granted and if hard days comes you always there, but still I despised you. I really don’t care about what you fell at all; I just care of myself alone, care and listening just myself alone. I never tried to listen to your reminders, requests and counsels instead discard it and retort to you instead. I give you shit for your goodness and take you a way every time you come near to me, I build a barrier between us. Everything I give to you is heartaches, agonies and pains. I always ask but return you nothing, you always tried to be good but instead of thanking you, I do discriminate and rebut you.
I always get you upset for the reason of catching your attention and likewise to Papa. I just want you to know I’m here, hello!?. I’m here in front of you knocking that please notice me notice the good in me not my clumsiness, failures and rudeness. And still you don’t hear it. That’s way I keep on doing bad things and shows it to you. Yeah, it’s very effective, I have you for a meantime, at last you notice me, you talk to me, I fell that you are here again with me. I love looking your furious and despising gaze. In that time I can have an eye contact with you. I have you and you have me too.
You know Ma, I’m just jealous to others, whom have a great family bonding. They were very happy in each other’s company, you can see it in their faces. They are very sweet to each other they share jokes, opinions and everything about their experiences on that day, they talks as if there’s no tomorrow. They laugh together and very very happy. Does it happen to us? No it didn’t. I can’t remember that we’ve undergone that. What we usually do is fighting and insulting each other. I haven’t heard you say that you love me even ones. I don’t remember that you hug me tight and kissing me. You are very cold and numb. You are very busy of your business and go home late and tired. Most of the time when your home you’re scolding us if not your sleeping, you really don’t have time for us. You want us to understand you, but youdid not tries to understand us too?
Ma I do love you, I really do. It just you are very hard to approach because there once I tried to come near to you and started to be sweet to you, you haven’t like it instead you said do you want something? You know Ma it crushed me into pieces, I said to myself I will never do it again, I don’t want another embarrassments again. There was one time when I gave you a letter, its valentines day and our teacher asked us to wrote a valentines card and gave it to the one we love. So, I decided to make one and thinking that you would like and appreciate it but what had happen was you take it for granted and put it somewhere and it was blown away. Starting that day on, I promised myself never to make a letter again address to you. Because it truly hurts ma, it crushed me to death, it’s like being toasted in the oven toaster, and the feeling of neglecting is what really I felt that time. Even through I was in elementary years that time, I matured a lot from that experienced, I still can’t forget it, it always come back in my memory. There was once also that I tried to be nice with you and trying to be sweet through hugging and kissing you but you get angered with me because you were very tired that time and you don’t want somebody to disturbed you. That time also I started to hate you for ignoring my effort. I thought that you would be glad of what I did, I just try to ease your wearisome, but you take me a way. I’m afraid to you because you are cold-hearted Ma. You never tried to come near to me, talk to me and exchanging thoughts with me. You do no action for us to be in good terms again. Based on the things I remembered to you when I was in my childhood days that you are always busy of going somewhere you don’t have time for us that’s way that if they asked me "kinsa imong ganahan si mama o si papa?", my answer is always "si Papa" because his always there for me, he hug and kiss me always, I found by importance in papa’s arm. I don’t remember any good times between us, I always remember from you that you are kuripot and busy, but still I love you. I know that I don’t have right to question you, you are my mother you deserve my love and respect. Who I am by the way, I am just your daughter that dependent still to you, in short a burden.
Ma I’m sorry for every bad things I’ve done, I mention above my reasons I hope that that you may forgive meI love you so much!
Loving you so much,
Your Prodigal Daughter.
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